Well, let's get some things out there first:
The 1950s.
Nazism.
Okay, now that you've got the requisite hyperlinks.... ;)
Consider this comment points of clarification from the perspective of someone ... who has been on the other side (dun dun dunnnn)..
People don't tend to dates multiple people at once, a la the 1950s. They tend to hook up with multiple people at once. Or openly date one person and hook up with others -- which is not cheating unless you've agreed to be exclusive.
That's more the 2007 norm. Let's see if I can go more in depth through some massive if-then statements. (Yeah, I'm going there.)
If people have been seeing each other for a while, or dating, then there usually follows a discussion between said people about whether they are exclusive or not. Once that discussion is held, you know where you stand.
If you are exclusively dating someone, then it's more of a trial run (like a 30 day free trial of Netflix). It can quickly (or slowly) lead into a serious (i.e. committed) relationship (like when you pay Netflix a monthly fee), or you can realize the other person is not for you. (Netflix can be cancelled at anytime.)
If you're not exclusive, then there's nothing insidious about going and hooking up with other people. It's your right in what is typically called an "open relationship". Granted, these types of relationships don't usually last long and probably aren't the healthiest, but they're out there. Note that I think it's much more the norm to hook up with others in an open relationship than it is to actually date others.
Also, it is understood that if you don't have aforementioned discussion, then you are not exclusive. You're innocent because there are no agreed-upon rules! Only when there are rules can you be guilty!
And yes, I most certainly agree that labels have gotten out of hand. But that's a whole separate conversation about how we, as an American society, have a difficult time just being with anything and have to classify it in a hierarchical way. It's probably derivative of the Newtonian worldview... but that's all tangential.
I know this is all your opinion, but here's my question, especially given that you concede towards the end: Do you just not like the idea of hooking up with multiple people, or do you not think that it works?
Dear reader, in response to your question - (I say that as if I have readers and as if I don't know David).
Indeed, this is my opinion and not the opinion of the large men standing behind me. Let me start by saying that I don't know what you mean by "do you not think it works?" Hey, if you can get it to work for you, do it. Let's just put out there that hugh hefner is perhaps the ultimate mac daddy when it comes to this. He can make it work for him, so why not? I think that it happens, but I'm not sure it's best for America.
My larger point, which was really just to discuss the issue and give some ideas on it is this: I ultimately think that there's something unnatural about it. Another way of thinking about it is...and don't faint, but I think hooking up with multiple people in adult or even semi-adult environment is something that runs contradictory to what is absolutely good. Bear with me because I have another point to make in a minute. If we're going to exclude the social phenomenon known as college - and we can include it later (this might need two parts) - I think there's just something immoral and inconsistent with decency about multiple sexual partners in a short span of time/at once (ain't nothing wrong that that, slap it). It seems to run contrary to whatever social value seems to be valued as good. We can say this because it requires taking an unnatural step out of the normal flow of life (thinking stepping out of a river, or even a lazy river) and into a different world, that I think generally there's something about it that we, in the larger social context, can call "wrong." It's like murder. Well, not it's not at all, but bear with me. (It's my typing and you can't chime in.) In order to murder, unless you're clinically insane - it takes a part of you to cross a certain line. Once you cross that line, it becomes easier to live with. Sometimes you get so far past the line, that you can't see it anymore and everything in the world is as it is for you, and there's no higher ideal to aspire to. So, if you can do it, do it - but I'm saying be prepared for a part of you to have to change as a result.
I think there's something good about saying I'm going to give this person (alone) a shot. If I like them, I like them, if I don't, I'll give the next person a shot. I like the netflix example, but it's more like having netflix, and blockbuster and say a third internet video rental company - we'll call it intervidtalcompy - all at once. If I'm Netflix, might I be justified in saying "hey, give me the 30 day trial period before moving on to blockbuster? I would think so. If I was that other guy, who decided to put out my goods (we all what that means), I might say give me a shot to impress you first. It just strikes me as something that seems...not how I would do things. I'm not gonna say wrong, people don't like that word. In an adult world, it just seems immature. There also seems to be something cheap (I need new words) about hooking up with multiple people. (what will you look like when you're 35 and still at it?) Because then you place no value on your sexuality, or yourself emotionally. Seriously who wants to date Paris Hilton? (Fewer people have been in Fenway park) They just use her for her sexuality. And even if you want to make the argument of she uses them too - don't we have to deal with the larger issue of being used? Sex and sexuality just seems like something that can't be easily thrown around. It seems to take a lot from a person to be able to make those choices. (Except porn stars). Maybe I'm too respectful of it, but I'm not sure we live in the world where sexual choices don't impact people emotionally. Therefore, I don't support hooking up with multiple people because I don't think it's possible to make it work. I think in the end, it creates more problems than it solves. I don't think people are really ready emotionally for that kind of thing, so I think people get hurt when they say they're not going to. Just because you agree on something, doesn't mean that that's a fixed thing. You can't stop people from feeling. I'd love to live in the other world, where sex was free and didn't carry moral or emotional repercussions, but it does. Why make a commitment if you don't have to, though? It's a question of the things you value.
I'm not advocating one thing or the other. I'm just trying to figure out if, as John Mayer says "we're living it right" or not.
A note about words. First of all, you don't get anywhere by calling people dumb, or idiots, or saying that their lifestyle is wrong, or you disapprove it, even if it it might be the case (this could be a fox news blog) . I'm not saying I disapprove of your lifestyle and I'm not saying it's wrong and I'm right. I'm saying two things.
1. I don't care about your lifestyle. I really don't. What I mean by that is that if you're doing something that I wouldn't do, or you believe something that I don't believe, I don't care. I think we need to get out of this mindset. Do what you do. People can have differences and still get along. Curt Shilling is a conservative republican, I'm not. I don't care. I love the guy. I love his pitching and I love his outspoken views. I support people in their choices and beliefs, and I think I sometimes get a bad rap because I have different choices and beliefs. Or wait, ideas. Kevin Smith says beliefs are bad. I could care less that I think different things than other people on certain subjects. Put in a days work, be good to the people around you, don't hit dogs. We need to celebrate our disagreements and be open about them instead of being distrustful or moving on from those people because we think differently. Hello, we're people, it happens, get over it, drink your milk. PS. I don't care if you think my ideas are wrong. That is possible when you've thought about your ideas and the alternative and come to a personal thought. If you've really done the thinking, you'll be fine. If you have to question something you've never questioned before and accepted as true, you might get discombobulated. Case and Point, Malcom X's belief in Elijah Muhammad.
2. Words hurt don't they? Sticks and stones may break my bones...yeah right. Don't words hurt? You're wrong, your lifestyle is wrong. Hey man, back off. Yeah, it hurts, and those are just words. If that hurts, I can't help but thinking that being disingenuously involved with someone emotionally or sexually can hurt too.
2a. Don't worry about words. Everyone has some scope of right and wrong, and if you fall into the wrong category, so be it. If I think something is right, and you do something opposite of that, you then, by the associative property, fall into the category of wrong. It has to be that way, it's logic. But, going back to point one - I don't care!
Let me say this too. If you're reading this, you disagree with me. That's fine with me. Is it fine with you? If it's not, why not? 5 paragraph essay please, or one of your own topic.
The larger discussion to be had is. "What are our values?" Now, I don't think you can just lay out 10 things that everyone can agree on. And, I don't think those values need to conform to social or cultural tradition. They just have to be thought out, and, yes, they can be contradictory. That's what's so great about life. That's drama. It's contradiction. Don't we love TNT? Doesn't TNT know drama? So, what are you values? What is good? What are your highest ideals? And honestly, I wouldn't have a problem if you smoked that fictional cigarette and said "ideals, values, morals...ha! All of this is bullshit! These terms are archaic and immoral!" But I thought "moral" was archaic? Is moral...immoral? (Shakes head). How much thinking do you do about yourself and what you believe, and is it time for more?
Our generation is inheriting America, and we have to figure out what to do with it. Personally, I don't want to sell it, I want to fix it/continue to work on it. We can either unite everyone under a certain set of ideals and values or we can diversify into enclaves of independent thought. I don't care, but we have to do some thinking about it first. Break's over.
Big Sky Montana
-Brad Fillion/Nathan Pitt
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